Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Is it because I queefed?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Randomize