y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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