Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize