He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
