i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
