my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
