8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
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