i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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