This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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