the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
