do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
