Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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