found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
