You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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