it wasn't lemon gatorade
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Randomize
