My first STD was from a foam party
I don't think brook has ever known best
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
