Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
