I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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