Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
