if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
