he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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