sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
