i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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