Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize