After last night, I could never be a politician.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
