so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
