I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
