I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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