If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just invented taco cereal.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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