When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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