I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
My balls are so social today.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
