I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
