butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
