I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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