mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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