My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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