Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Randomize
