Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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