ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
