Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
