Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
