Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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