I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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