Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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