At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
