Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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