Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
