i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
