i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
