Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
