Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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