I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
