Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Randomize
