We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
