I hate all girls vehemently.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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