fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
