to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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