How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize