Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
