Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
