We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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