K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Just fell off a train. Bad.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
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i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
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I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
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