we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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