I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
